Self-Management

To promote optimal human functioning that allows individuals communities to thrive.

There are three levels of positive mind
⦁ Subjective level including the study of positive experience such as joy, well- being, satisfaction, contentment, happiness and optimism. This level is about feeling well rather than doing good or being a good person.
⦁ Second level of positive health the aim of this level is to identify the constituents of the good life and personal qualities that are necessary for being a good person through studying human strength and virtues, future mindfulness capacity for respect and love for you as well as for others, courage, forgiveness, originality wisdom, inter personal skill and compassion.
⦁ Third level of positive mind at the group of community level the enterprises is on civic virtues, social responsibilities, work ethics, positive institution and other factors that contribute to development of citizenship and communities.
When we are experiencing positive emotions like joy interests we are more likely to be creative to see more opportunities to be open to relationship with others to play to be more flexible and open minded.
Positive emotions undo negative emotions simultaneously thus a deliberate experience of positive emotions at time when negative emotions are dominant can serve to undo their lingering effects.
⦁ Mild joy and contentment can eliminate the stress experience at a psychological level.
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⦁ Positive emotions resilience, enjoyment, happy play fullness, contentment, satisfaction, warm friendship, love and affection resilience and the ability to cope when negative emotion in contrast decrease them.
⦁ Positive emotions can trigger an upward development spiral. Just as negative emotions can lead into downward spiral of development.
Tips and tools how to be happy?
In the following ways we can increase our positive emotions.
⦁ The emotions of contentment can be enhanced by engaging in relaxation practices such as progressive muscle relaxation, yoga, berating exercise, positive imaginary experience. Meditational exercise is helpful to achieve a state of mindfulness. Religious practices are also beneficial if you are practicing religious of any religion or faith group. Group meditational connectivity practices between our inner-being and outer-being help to achieve a state of mindfulness which also bring many other benefits.
Another study demonstrated that physician experiencing positive emotion seems to take more accurate diagnosis.
Optimism and hope
⦁ Optimist experience less distress when dealing with difficulties in their lives for example they suffer much less anxiety and depression. Optimist adopts better to negative events including serious kind of illnesses.
⦁ Optimists are capable of leading lesson from negative situations attend to health warnings and usually discover potentially serious problems early rather than later.
⦁ Optimists exert more continuous efforts tend not to give up possibly assuming that situation can be hard led to successfully in one way or another.
⦁ Optimists report more health promoting behavior and enjoy more physical as well as mental health than pessimists.
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⦁ Optimists seem to be more productive in work places.

⦁ Key thing to remember; it is important to make life more rich, intense and meaningful.
⦁ A good intellectual discussion often brings a sense of flow.
⦁ Healthy social & creative activities ; these activities are conductive to flow like walking alone or in the group of friends, sports, dancing, involvement in creative art and other healthy hobbies like socializing, studying, reading and very often working.
Dealing with adversity
Stress, limitation, challenging situations, loss, significant life changes like getting older and even death are an inevitable part of being human.
Coping strategies, when stress hits we all use different ways of coping with these difficult situations
There are 3 coping strategies
⦁ Problem focused
⦁ Solution focused
⦁ Avoidance coping
⦁ Problem focused, coping is not focused very much on the solution of a problem but on the on the problem which creates more problem and we remain in the vicious circle of twisted thoughts.
⦁ When we are very much focused on the solution of a problem it is the best strategy to cope with the difficult situation because we are what we think, how we think and the way we think and feel. There are always two ways of a situation a helpful way and unhelpful way the helpful way may
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leads to better result of a difficult situation or in terms of dealing with some person and on the same way there is also unhelpful way which may leads to worse the condition in terms of dealing with a situation or a person.
These strategies are also more appropriate for uncontrolled stress such as bereavement when it is impossible to solve the problem
⦁ Avoidance coping happens when people try to deny that the problem exists and try to block it out of their mind possible with the help of alcohol, drugs, sex or even by engaging themselves in different anti-social activities like adopting the negative emotions like RAJS-behavior, revenge, aggression, jealousy, and selfishness types of behavior.
The concrete strategies in these three broad groups can be functional and dysfunctional for example accepting responsibilities for solving a problem or developing a realistic action plan are amongst the functional solution focused whilst problem focused strategy are amongst the dysfunctional one.
Avoidance focused strategies also can be useful in the short term. It may be good idea to go to movies or go for a walk in order to distract you from the difficult situation for the time being.
Adaptive defense mechanism; psychologists claim that that we have certain unconscious process that assist in recovering from life’s stresses. This unconscious process called adoptive defense mechanism which is very positive and useful. Amongst them are anticipation affiliation, humor, self-assertion, self-observation, sub limitation and suppression. Just to give some example anticipation prepares us emotionally for potentially unfavorable outcome of challenging situations. Affiliation leads us to pick up the phone and to chat with a friend about a hard day at work.
Reforming negative situation into humorous one is a common and very effective mechanism. Sub limitation allows to us transform negative
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reaction into constructive activities. This entire defense tends to more
effective as our lives progress. The more we use them the better our adoption and resilience.
Wisdom
Wisdom is something which can assist us in dealing with challenging and complex situations in terms of relationships or during extreme conditions.
5- criteria are seen to be essential for wisdom.
⦁ Rich factual knowledge about pragmatic or facts of life.
⦁ Rich knowledge how to deal with these pragmatic facts known how to make decisions.
⦁ Knowledge about many themes and context of life such as self, family, work place, and understanding how they are interrelated, how they change and affect each other.
⦁ Recognition and management of uncertainty and tolerance of ambiguity accepting the knowledge has limits and we can never predict with 100% accuracy what will happen in the future.
⦁ Importantly wisdom does not depend on superior cognitive or technical knowledge. Wisdom is combination of intellectual aspects with deep understanding of affect and motivation.
⦁ Experience and training in dealing with complex life problems enhance the development of wisdom.
The researchers from Berlin wisdom group found that contrary to popular belief wisdom can characterize people of any age. While wisdom rapidly increases during adolescence and young adulthood it may not rise any further during the adult years.

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Positive ageing

The ageing process is a major challenge that the vast majority of us are bound to encounter sooner or later.
The goodness is that we are living longer now-days. In fact research data shows that most adults over 65 are very healthy.
Many physical and mental health problems can be eliminated with healthy and active lifestyle like healthy eating and healthy living because
⦁ We are what we eat?
⦁ We are what we think, how we think and the way we think and feel?
⦁ Proper maintenance of body can do miracles.
Transcultural (cross cultural) research
Transcultural research on the value of strength suggests that knowing and following your strength.
⦁ Encourage insight and perspective in your life.
⦁ Generate optimism.
⦁ Provide a sense of direction helps to develop confidence.
⦁ Generate a sense of vitality.
⦁ Bring a sense of achieve one’s goal.
Agape & Compassionate love
Agape is a type of love that is selfless, welcoming and giving primarily concerned with the other’s well-being. It accepts protects, gives of itself and doesn’t even ask for love or anything in return. It is kind of love for all and hatred for none.
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Compassionate love reflects a deep affection that people feel for each other. It can
be seen to have 4 elements.
⦁ Being with the other refers to acceptance care, respect (including self-respect) and mutual equalities.
⦁ Doing with the other’s means having shared goals or activities and mutual interests. Doing something involves helping, comforting and protecting the others.
⦁ Staying with other is based on commitment between people. It is assisted by intimacy and closeness.
⦁ Growing with the others involves transcending one’s own interest and wellbeing to change.
Random act of kindness
As the name suggests this involvement is about doing something good for another human-being. This may be large or small but act need to benefit other in some way like even an exchange of smile on our face is not less than any precious gift which could be given to others even to a stranger.
Not only do random acts of kindness make other people feel better they also increase the happiness of the giver especially several acts are carried out on the same day. It is also important to vary these acts so that they remain fresh and meaningful.
How much physical and mental exercises are important?
Exercise reduce anxiety, stress , the risk of hypertension, type- 2 diabetes, heart disease, insomnia, obesity, and probability of dementia.
It improves not only physical but also cognitive functioning. Even more psychological research demonstrates that exercise may be the most reliable happiness booster of all activities.
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Putting into daily practice

Theory can be of little use unless it is utilized in practice. Also it is only practice that allows us to determine whether the theory is wrong or right.
UK personal synthesis program
In the UK major new program has been developed based largely on the positive psychology. The purpose of this program is to empower to develop to deal with life challenges of their lives and feel more in charge of their lives.
PSP focus on self-awareness, handling emotions, increasing confidence, and dealing with anxiety, coping with stress, communicating with effectively, forming constructive relationship.
Primary Emotional Difficulties
Just try to focus on the situation in which you felt angry or anxious. Try to learn and distinguish our irritable anger from the fearful worry of anxiety.
Just begin to identify these moods instead of lumping them together as numbness. Just make sure that what was you thinking when your mood was angry and what was you thinking when your mood was anxious? Just try to overpower these difficulties through different mind transformation techniques given at the end of this book.
Just take the charge of your emotions don’t give the remote control of your emotions in to the hands of others to be played as per their wishes.
How we think, feel and behave?
To illustrate important relationship between your thought and moods there are different types of personalities all over the world with variable moods. Let’s suppose I asked someone that you are a nice person. How would you feel? Some people would feel pleased and happy. Other might feel guilty and
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unhappy. Some people would feel embarrassed and some people would react
with anger and annoyance. What explain such different reactions of different people? It because of different ways they might think, feel and behave about the compliment.
If you are not in a good state of mind and you are thinking in an unhelpful way and you would react to the compliment in a negative way that someone is wanted to make you happy you think that you are not a nice person. But if you are thinking positively and you are in a normal and healthy state of mind and the helpful thought would please you about the compliment.
In each case the external stimuli is similar but the way of thinking and behaving to the compliment is different. The way you feel results entirely from the way you think about it. So it is well established fact that our thought creates our mood bad or good mood. The way you received message from outer source or you way to interpret the message positively or negatively and the command which give to your mind and you will react accordingly.
Dealing with your feelings?
Just deal with the problem which hurt your emotions or give you bad feelings.
Don’t deny your feelings or avoid the conflicts. Let’s find out the solution and the positive way to confront these problems. You may deny your feelings and ignore certain problems in your life you don’t want to upset any one or hurt their feelings. Suddenly you are worrying and having panic attacks and you have no idea what it happened? When you ignore the feelings of resentment worries and frustration they may get converted into anxiety and frustration. Just try to unload your mind from the worries, fears, phobias, resentment and anxiety and try to be focused the solution of a problem.
Commander in chief (CNC)
Our mind is the CNC of our emotion and body. The way our mind gives
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direction to our thought the same way we act and behave. So if we in normal healthy and happy state of mind we will think and feel better and as a result we behave and act in a better way.
Self-acceptance and love yourself with your strength and weaknesses (SALY)
Real happiness and peace of mind
By changing the way we feel is one of important goal how to achieve real happiness and peace of mind. The most important thing is to accept and love yourself with your strength and weakness and try to make your weakness as your positive strength during the critical situation when you experienced lot of hardship and you might be suffering from anxiety and stress then you need to transform your negative emotions into positive emotions through compassion, tolerance, forgiveness and patience in order to get peace of mind and happiness.
Let’s understand ourselves?
Many people do believe that their bad moods result from factors beyond their control. They might perceived that how they can be happy that they don’t have a brighter future, no family life, no friends and few friends who always put them down and even they don’t have enough money to meet their daily expenses they are low paid or without job they think that they are not successful person. Some people argue that it is realistic to feel bad they are seriously ill or they are with some disability or they recently experienced a personal disappointment.
Of course there is reality and some truth behind these thoughts. As a reaction to autonomic nervous system of our brain our feeling is undoubtedly are influenced by external factors by our body chemistry and by conflicts and traumas from the past. If you say I can’ help the way I feel you will make yourself victim of your misery and you will be victimizing yourself.

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There are no external factors or tools to make us happy or unhappy. When we
take the charge of our emotions then we are sole responsible for our happiness or sadness. If we feel better we must realize that our thought and attitude not external event but only the internal factors i.e. our feelings and behaviors make us happy or unhappy.
We can learn to change the way how we think, feel and behave. We need to bring profound revolutionary changes into our thought in order to bring permanent peace of mind and happiness.
We are what we eat, we are what we think, how we think and the way we think and behave can make us happy or unhappy. There are always two ways of thinking the positive way is helpful way to feel better and the negative way is unhelpful way.
Thought behavioral technique is all about how you think about yourself, world and about other people how what you do affect your thought and feeling. Thought behavioral techniques can help you to think (cognitive) and what you do (behavioral)
These thoughts techniques can help you to feel better unlike some of other talking treatment it focus on the here and right now, problem and difficulties. Instead of focusing on the causes of your distress or symptoms in the past it looks for ways to improve your state of mind right now.
There are following mind transformation techniques based on cognitive behavioral therapies.
T.F.DELTA@Welcome technique, T-stands for thinking well, F-stands for feeling well, D-stands for dealing well, E-stands for eating well, L-stands for living well, T-stands for talking well and A-stands for act well.
⦁ SAFE- technique, share your feeling and emotions with your loved one family, friends and with your doctor if needed in a positive and polite way to resolve the issues and conflicts.
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⦁ SALY-technique, SA-stand for self-acceptance, LY-stand for love and respect yourself with your strength and weakness and try to learn to improve your capacity in a positive way and to overcome your weakness.
⦁ Select your positive thought from your mind to share and select your negative thought from your mind to delete it from your mind inbox.
⦁ MOTAR technique, MO stand for mood & mind, T stands for thought, A stands for action and R stands for reaction.
What does thought behavioral techniques (Cognitive Behavioral Technique) help?
TBT has been shown to help with many different types of problems. These includes, anxiety ,depression ,panic ,phobia including social phobia, stress, bulimia, obsessive compulsive disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder and psychosis.
TBT may also help if you have difficulties with anger a low opinion of yourself.
How does TBT works?
TBT helps you to make sense of overwhelming problems by breaking them down into smaller parts. These parts are based on the situation and your action and reaction this sequence has been given the name as STEPA-sequence, S-stands for situation or the event, T-stands for thought, E-stands for emotional effects, P-stands for physical effects and A-stands for action. Each of this sequence can affect the others. How you think about a problem can affect how you feel physically and emotionally is response of your action.
What happens in one of these areas can affect all the others. There are helpful and unhelpful ways reacting to most situations depending upon what you think, how you think and the way you think and react.
There are helpful and unhelpful ways of reacting to most of the situations.
An example; 1-situation, you have had a boring day, feels frustrated and aggressive and go out for a walk. As you walk down the road in the park, one of your best friend walks by and apparently you feel she ignores you. This start a
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Cascade of
2- Thought depending upon your perception the way you perceive gives the result. Now there are two ways of thinking, A- the helpful way is the positive way of thinking to get better result and, B- is unhelpful and negative way of thinking about the situation and get an inappropriate result.
A-helpful way of thinking, she looks a bit wrapped in herself. I wonder if she is ok. This is the positive way of thinking about other and it shows your concern about your friends.
B-unhelpful way of thinking, she ignored me she hates me she doesn’t like me.
3- Emotional feelings, a- effects of helpful thought, concern for the other person is positive way, B-effects of unhelpful thoughts, aggressive, sad and rejected is negative way.
⦁ Physical feelings, A-effects of helpful way are concern about other. B-effects of unhelpful thoughts, raises blood pressure.
⦁ Action, A-helpful way, gets in touch with her to make sure she is ok. B-unhelpful way, avoids your friend to talk and create a communication gap.
The same situation has led to two different results depend the situation. How you think? Has affected how you felt and what you did. In an example when you think in an unhelpful negative way it means you jumped to a conclusion without very much evidence for it. If you think in a helpful and a positive way you go home and feel better and call your friend to ask about how she is? If you avoid the other person you would not be able to correct your misunderstanding about what she thinks about you and you will probably feel worse. The vicious circle can make you feel worse. It can even create a new situation that makes you feel worse. You can start to believe quite unrealistic and unpleasant about yourself. This happen because when we are distressed we are more likely to jump to conclusions and to interpret things in extreme and unhelpful ways.
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Thought behavioral techniques can help you to break this vicious circle of
altered thinking feelings and behaviors. When you see the part of a sequence unclearly you can change them and so change the way you feel. TBT aims to get you to a point where you can do it yourself and work out your own ways of tackling these problems.
What does TBT involve? The session you can do individually or with a group of people like we have (Emotional Support Group) where we conduct these sessions on weekly basis free of cost. You can also do on your own self-help book or computer program. NHS fear fighter is for people with phobia and panic attacks. Beating the blues is for people with mild to moderate depression. To help this process your therapist may ask you to keep a diary. This will help you to identify your individual pattern of thought emotions, physical feelings and action. Together you will look at your thought, feeling and behavior to work out.
⦁ If they are unrealistic or unhelpful.
⦁ How they affect each other and you.
The therapist then helps you to work out how to change unhelpful thought and behavior?
These changes in your everyday life depending upon the situation you might start to.
⦁ Question a self-critical or upsetting thought and replace with a more helpful and more realistic one you have developed in TBT.
⦁ Recognize that you are about to do something that will make you to feel worse and instead to do something more helpful.
The strength of TBT is that you can continue to practice and develop your skill even after the session have finished. This makes it less likely that your symptoms or problems will return.
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Problems with TBT
⦁ It is not a quick fix. A therapist is like a personal trainer that advises and encourages but can’t do it for you.
2- If you are feeling low it can be difficult to concentrate and get motivated.
3- To overcome anxiety you need to confront it. This will lead you to more anxious for a short time while you do together in a group so you stay in control.
There is some research that suggests that CBT (TBT) may be better than antidepressant at preventing depression coming back.
How emotionally skilled you are? you have to interpret the situation and give it meanings before you can feel worried or nervous about it the idea is tremendously practical importance because when you change the way you think you can change the way you feel you can overcome fear, worry, nervousness, anger and panicky.
Repressed conflicts make us anxious. You might have been afraid of sharing of any negative emotions with your friends and loved one. As an adult you may be afraid of expressing anger or telling people how you really feel. When you have conflicts with someone you may calm up and feel that they will put you down the efforts to avoid the conflicts make you repressed. You felt depressed and you get terrible nervous and panicky.
Mental health problem can affect anyone. One in four people are likely to experience a mental health problem in one year. These include conditions such as phobia, depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder and schizophrenia.
Estimators predict by 2020 depression will be the second only to heart disease as an international health issue.
SAFE- technique, Share your feeling and emotions positively with your loved one to resolve the issues and conflicts. Don’t avoid or hyoid your emotions and
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conflicts with them to fee well.
Important relationship between thought / mind and body (MOTAR- technique)
To illustrate important relationship between thought and mood there are different types of personalities all over the world with variable mood. The way you think and you act counts a lot.
Emotional, thought, feeling and Action diary
To keep a diary helps you to identify your personal pattern of thought, emotions, physical bodily feelings and action to help with the process. Together you will then begin look at your thought feeling and behavior to work out if they are unrealistic, unhelpful and how they affect each other.
Identify your problem
Once you have identified what you can change in your everyday life. Your therapist is likely to recommend home work so that you can practice these changes in your life outside of your session. This could include questing upsetting thoughts and replacing them with more helpful one or recognize when you are going to do something that will make you to feel worse and instead doing something more helpful. It is important to remember that the therapist can’t force you to do things that you don’t want to. You decide the pace of treatment.
Alternative ways
There by our negative thought can prevent us from seeing things that do not fit with what we believe are true. In fact we continue to hold on to the same thoughts and to fail to see the alternative explanation those are open door for us. The more positive and open thought leads to feeling more confident,
energetic and more socially active.
Essence of CBT (TBT), the essence of TBT is to examine unclearing thought
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behind the emotional problems and to generate alternative more balanced thought. Cognitive therapy aims to work on your thought and behavior to help improve how you feel.
The government produced NICE- guideline recommended CBT as a treatment of choice for number of mental health issues. This is based on numerous studies showing its effectiveness.
People are surprised to see the amount of change they can make themselves using self-help-happiness work book. This book is based on CBT a kind of talking treatment (mind transformation technique).
How anxiety can affect you? You will headache and eyestrain when you become anxious.
You may start to worry about even a little problem and suddenly jump into conclusion or you may become very much anxious and start to panic.
You may worry about things that have happened in the past, things happening now or things that you think you might face in the future. Don’t worry about a lot of things in life you feel generally stressed. This is called having generalized anxiety. Over all about one in every 12 people fell stressed. This means that several people around you also probably have problem to do with stress at the same time as you. Try to recognize your problem through relaxation therapy.
What is panic attack? Sometime your anxiety can rise to such a high level that you might feel mentally and physically tense and unwell. You may stop what you are doing or try to leave or escape the situation which is called situational anxiety. People sometime even feel paralyzed into inactivity. This sudden feeling of lot of fear or terror is called panic attack which lost about for 20-40 minutes. When people experienced panic attack they strongly believe
something terrible is happening right now. Common fears that people feel in a
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panic attack are, i am going to faint, I am going to suffocate, I am going to collapse. I am going to have stroke. At least 1 in 10 people have a panic attack at some time in their life.
Many of us will, at some time have a serious physical illness. Both the illness and the treatment for it, can affect the way we think and feel.
Anxiety feels like
⦁ Constant worrying thoughts, often about the illness and its treatment.
⦁ Fearing the worst, for example that our illness will get worse or that we might die.
⦁ Being aware of heart beating.
⦁ Tense and pain in our muscles
⦁ Being unable to relax.
⦁ Sweating
⦁ Breathing too fast.
⦁ Feeling dizzy.
⦁ Feeling faint.
⦁ Indigestion and diarrhea.
Depression feels like
⦁ Feeling of unhappiness that doesn’t go away, and are there nearly all the time.
⦁ Losing interest in life
⦁ Being unable to enjoy anything.

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⦁ Finding it hard to make even simple decisions.
⦁ Feeling utterly tired.
⦁ Feeling restless and agitated.
⦁ Losing appetite and weight (some people find they do the reverse and put on weight).
⦁ Difficulty in sleeping and waking up early than usual.
⦁ Losing interest in sex.
⦁ Losing self-confidence and feeling useless and hopeless.
⦁ Avoiding other people.
⦁ Feeling hopeless about ourselves, our situation and the world generally. We may feel if we never going to get better or those we are worthless.
⦁ Thinking suicide- this is common in depression. It is much better to talk about it than to try to hide it.
Some of these symptoms, such as feeling tired. Poor sleep and loss of appetite may be similar to those caused by physical illness or its treatment. If you talk through how you are feeling with a doctor or nurse, they can help to sort out whether it is your physical illness or depression that is responsible.
Why are depression and anxiety more likely to happen if you have serious physical illness?
⦁ People become depressed and anxious when they are stressed for any reason. Being ill and having treatment is stressful. This is the probably most common reason.
⦁ Some drug treatments, such as steroids, affect the way the brain works and so cause anxiety and depression directly.
⦁ Some physical illness, such as under-active thyroid, affects the way the brain
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works. They cause anxiety and depression directly.
⦁ Anxiety and depression are common. You may just happen by chance to become anxious or depressed at the same time as you become physically ill.
What might you more likely to become anxious or depressed?
You are more likely to experience severe anxiety and depression when you are physically ill if;
⦁ You have been anxious or depressed before.
⦁ You don’t have any family or friends you can talk to about your illness.
⦁ You are female (women report more anxiety and depression than men).
⦁ You have other problems or stresses going on in your life at the same time. For example, redundancy, a divorce or the death of loved one.
⦁ You are in a lot of pain.
⦁ Your illness is life-threating.
⦁ Your illness stops you from looking after yourself.
The times when you are most likely to become anxious and depressed are;
⦁ When you are first told about your illness.
⦁ After having major surgery or if there are unpleasant side effects to your treatment.
⦁ If the illness comes back, after you seemed to feeling better. For example, a recurrence of cancer or a second heart attacks.
⦁ If your illness stop to responding to treatment.
When should you seek help? If you are feelings of anxiety and depression;
⦁ Are worse than the fears, worries and sadness that you have had before.
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⦁ Don’t seem to be getting any better with time.
⦁ Begin to affect your feelings towards family and friends, your work and your interests.
⦁ If you feel that life is not worth living. Or that other people would be better off without you.
You may not realize you are depressed, if;
⦁ You think all your symptoms are due to the physical illness.
⦁ You blame yourself for being lazy or feeble.
Other people may have to reassure you about this. This may need to remind you that seeking help is not sign of weakness. Some of us try to cope with our feelings of anxiety and depression by keeping busy. This works for some people but can also be an excellent way of making ourselves even more stressed and exhausted. Sometime anxiety and depression may not show themselves as feeling of unhappiness and fear, but may produce bodily pain, headache or sleeplessness.
It may be enough to talk things over with a relative or friends, who may be able to help you; it is probably a good idea to talk to one of the doctors and nurses who are looking after you.
Is feeling like this a good enough reason to ask for help?
It can be difficult asking for help with anxiety and depression when we are physically ill because;
⦁ You may feel your distress is understandable and therefore there is nothing that can be done about it.
⦁ You don’t want to appear ungrateful, or as if you are complaining to the doctors and nurses who are providing your physical care.
⦁ You don’t want to interfere with the treatment of your physical illness, by admitting that you are having difficulty coping
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⦁ You may feel that the doctors and nurses are too busy looking after your physical illness to be interested in your anxiety and depression.
⦁ You feel the doctors and nurses are more interested in your physical problems than your emotion ones.
Of course we can all understand when someone with a serious physical illness becomes anxious and depressed. This does not mean that you should ignore it. Doctors and nurses are concerned about aspects of your health, including any depression and anxiety that you are feeling. They can help by;
⦁ Knowing about your worries and concerns about your situation.
⦁ Make sure you know enough about your illness and its treatment.
⦁ Helping you to talk about your feelings.
⦁ Deciding if you need treatment for anxiety and depression.
How can depression and anxiety be helped?
There are several types of professional who may be able to help you. These include your family doctor, trained counselors, psychotherapists, clinical psychologists and psychiatrists. Any treatment suggested depending on your symptoms, the severity of your anxiety and depression, and your circumstances. It may involve talking, antidepressant tablets or both.

How can you help yourself? Don’t suffer in silence,
T.F.DELTA@WELCOME technique
As well as seeking professional help, there are number of things you can do to help yourself.
⦁ Share your fears and concerns with people close to you. You may be surprised – rather than finding this is a burden, you may also be relieved to
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talk about these things.
⦁ Ask your doctor question about the illness. If there are aspects of the illness or its treatment that you are uncertain about –ask. If you know about your illness, you are likely to cope better with it.
⦁ Try to eat a balance diet. If you have lost your appetite
⦁ Because of worry and depression, you may lose weight. This can make your physical health worse.
⦁ Balance the demands of your illness and the demands of your life. You will need to try and find the balance between “giving into the illness” and “pressing on regardless”.
⦁ Look after yourself. Make sure that you build relaxation, pleasurable activities and, if possible, physical exercise in your daily routine.
⦁ Try not to drink too much alcohol to make you feel better. It can actually make anxiety and depression worse and it may interfere with your tablets.
⦁ Try not to worry about not sleeping properly. This happens in anxiety and depression and usually gets better when your mood lifts.
⦁ Don’t change the number of tablets you are on, or stop taking them, or try other remedies, without discussing it with your doctor. If the tablets have unpleasant side –effects, tell your doctor or nurse. Don’t suffer in silence.
⦁ How can family and friend help? (Emotional support Group)
⦁ It is often relative or friends who first notice anxiety and depression coming on in someone with physical illness. If you have noticed someone close to you becoming depressed, genteelly encourage him or her to seek help. Explain to them that anxiety and depression are common and that, with help, you get better in the great majority of the cases. To see a professional, such as psychiatrists, is not a slur on the patient or their family, or a sign of weakness.
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⦁ It is helpful to spend time with someone who is anxious and depressed. They don’t need to be nagged, but they do need to encourage- perhaps to talk, but also to keep going with some of the things they normally do.
⦁ Reassure the person who is anxious and depressed that they will get better- they may find it hard to believe that they can.
⦁ Try to make sure they are eating a well-balanced diet and help them to avoid drinking too much alcohol.
⦁ If the anxious and depressed person is getting worse and has started to talk of not wanting to live or has hinted at harming himself or herself, take these statements seriously and make sure their doctors knows about this.
⦁ Try to help the person to accept the treatment prescribed. If you have doubt about the treatment, discuss them with the doctor.
Caring for someone who is both physically ill and troubled with anxiety and depression can be exhausting. If you are getting worn out, do ask for help.
What is phobia? You may have known to some people who are very scared of creature such as spider or situation such as height, sometime people become so fearful that even just thinking about the situation that scared them can result in strong feeling of panic. You may avoid any thing to do that situation as a result. This means that your life becomes increasingly restricted. People also often lose their confidence and become distressed for a long time it is describe for having phobia.
Virtually any situation or people can cause phobia.
Social phobia, avoiding conversation either people or being in a situation when you might think you performance is judged. People who feel very shy or very high anxiety in social situation have what is called social phobia.
What are obsessive and compulsion?
OCD have main features, obsessional thought and compulsive behavior. These
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usually occur together.
Obsessional thought, a situation where upsetting thoughts pop into a person’s mind again and again and again. Most of you might think this is normal or slightly annoying and frustrating. Eventually it stops. These thoughts are also distressing, the person become overly aware of them and tries hard not to think the upsetting thoughts. Common obsessional thoughts include cleanliness and fear of hurting or damaging other in some way. The person is worried that something really bad will happen as a result. This may know rationally that no such harm is really likely to occur, yet in spite of this; the worrying fears dominate their thinking and intrude into their mind. Sometime obsessional thinking results in the person becoming crippled by doubt about a particular issue. They go round and round trying to answer the question to the very last detail, yet final it is impossible to reach a conclusion.
– Trying hard to avoid thinking the obsessional thoughts in the first place
-Carrying out mental rituals such as thinking particular words or prayer in order to make the thought feel right or safe – Carrying out activities or behavior to prevent or reverse the harmful consequences occurring e.g. repeatedly checking the light switches are off or cleaning the house or washing themselves to an excessive extent. – Avoidance any situation that they fear may cause things to get worse. This action might in moderation be seen as sensible and appropriate e.g. checking in door once at night before going to bed is quite sensible things to do. However in OCD things get out of hand. The compulsive can be dominate and lead to an increasingly restricted life. A good start to using the work book is to do something physically first e.g. get up and walk around the room or up and down the stairs if you have these. Then you sit down on your work book chair to sit up right rather than slump back. Now start reading the book having some pen and paper with you. So you can make notes or write in the work book. Don’t expect a sudden miracle cure. Change take time and practice.
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Supportive encouragement from trusted friends, health professional or social care worker can really be helpful. Don’t cut yourself off from other useful support.
Emotional help and support, having someone around who can offer support and encouragement can help. This is especially important if you feel you are struggling or feel stuck. Sometime the act of telling someone a family member, friend a health worker that you are working on something or plan to do certain activity on a particular day can really help. Just knowing that someone else may ask you how it is going could help spur you into action.
Many people find it helpful to have health care professional to support them and keep a check how things are going. This can be done even face to face or even by talking on telephonically or by e-mail.
The emotional support and help is available by (Emotional support group) of “Health and Happiness for All “through E-mail; health.happiness@hotmail.co.uk or visit web site; www.voluntryaction.net/groups/health-and-happiness-all-hnh
Self-motivation to change at time of anxiety, stress or a panic attack,
At the time of anxiety, stress or a panic attack may not feel motivated to do anything. You may be sleeping poorly, have low energy and struggle to motivate to change. Write down a letter of self-appreciation to yourself and e-mail it to yourself or send it to yourself by post. Sample of letter is given.
Dear Najeeb, hope you are fine and doing wonderful job. A time will come when you will have full hold on your stress and anxiety.
Sincerely,
Najeeb (Myself)
Look back to your letter when you feel low. Some time it is easy to forget how
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hard it is to learn new information or skill that you now take for granted. Think about some of the skill in the past you have learned over the years e.g. driving, riding a bike you probably were not very good at it. That first time yet with practice you developed the skill need to do it. In the same way you can help improve how you feel by practicing what you learn even it may see hard at first.
Realistic approach and expectations
It is important not to approach this self-help-happiness book either for too positively or too negatively. It would be untrue to claim that if you use the book you are guaranteed results.
STEP-A sequence; normally most people feel able to cope with the problems they face when you are in balance. You are confident that you can deal with the problems. It is how you think about these things that make you feel like you do and dwelling on problem and getting things out of perspective doesn’t help you feel better or make your problem go away.
STEP-A, approach to tackle the situation on the basis of what you think how you think, the way you think through helpful way or through unhelpful way.
⦁ Situation, people, events around you. This includes the situation you face and people or place you find particularly hard to cope with.
⦁ Thinking, this can often become extreme and unhelpful when you feel too worried or stressed. In worry people over estimate the problem and under estimate their ability to cope with things. They also dwell on things. They try to persuade themselves that thinking too much help they sort out their problems. But turning worries over again and again doesn’t help sort anything out.
⦁ Step, Emotional symptoms, (MOTAR) you can feel tense emotionally, anxious, irritable, low, ashamed or guilty when you are stressed.
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⦁ Step, physical symptoms, your BP may rise you may feel shaky, sweaty or restless.
⦁ Step, Action, the same situation can lead to two different results depending upon what we think how we think and the way we think. There are two ways of thinking. Helpful way and unhelpful way. The helpful way may lead to get better results while unhelpful way always lead to in appropriate results.
Step 1- Situation, people and event around you, All of us from time to time face particular problems such as problems with family, friends, problems with some others and life at home.
People who have had a relationship split or who have no one to talk to, can feel very lonely, anxious, worried or stressed. Worry, stress and anxiety can affect any kind of relationship. You may become confused about your feelings towards others and you can lose interests in your relationship.
Write a letter to yourself about your problem which you are facing in detail post it on your address or e-mail it to your own e-mail address. Write down the problem you may have and through the self-help-happiness book you can get the better results through transformation of mind and thought.
Step-2 Thought, altered thinking when someone feel very anxious, worried, or stressed how they think and the way then thing tends to change. You tend to lose confidence and find it harder to make decision. You may worry about things you have done. You begin to see everything in quite negative or anxiety provoking ways so yours thinking become extreme unhelpful. An anxiety, people over play the threat or danger they are facing. And at the same time people usually down play their capacity to cope with the problem. Little things that ordinarily would not upset can really seem to strike home. Tear may be near to the surface. You think that you can’t cope with the situation.

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Anxiety affects all aspect of your life you may become clumsier and make
more mistakes. You may over look your strength and be very self-critical but you may not check out whether these fears are true. Over all your thinking become extreme unhelpful and out of all proportion by thinking too much about problem that is taken out of all proportion. You need to look down on your strength and ability to cope. Things then seem as if they are out of control.
Step-3, Emotional symptoms, your feelings and emotions are an important and normal part of your life. Changes in how you feel are often linked with your thoughts, memories and the ideas that are going through your mind at the time. Try to become aware of these thoughts and note them down when there is change in how you feel.
Step-4 Physical symptoms, hyper ventilation, rise in blood pressure, faint feelings or headache, feel shaky, feel sick or note some other physical symptoms do you have. The good news is that by making changes in other areas you can improve how you feel physically.
Step-5 Action, (Altered behavior), we are what we think, how we think and the way we think. Starting to respond in unhelpful ways that backfire and make you feel worse e.g. seeking reassurance again and again from others, pushing people away. Losing your temper for no good reasons or having too much alcohol or too much sex or using drug to block how you feel. All these changes worsen how you feel.
Let’s bring positive changes into your though mind and body.
Make sensible decisions to keep your mind on what you are supposed to be doing right now and really concentrate on that activity. Do something different that involve in an activity or give you a sense of fun or achievement. Do things with others that can also make you feel closer to them.

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What is assertiveness?
⦁ Respect and love yourself as well as others.
⦁ Stand up for yourself and say what you need clearly.
⦁ Make sure your opinion and feelings are considered.
You can be assertive not assaultive without being forceful or rude.
What do you do in different situations?
There are certain situations which everyone find hard to deal with.
– Dealing with unhelpful shop assistant.
– Placing to have time away from your family.
– Asking for help when you need it
– Asking someone to return something they have borrowed
– Letting your family and friends know how you feel and what you need.
Usually people behave passively to avoid conflicts at all times and to please others. You feel anxious and unconfident in your relationship and friendship with others. When someone behaves passively it can cause others to become irritated and have lack of respect for the person behaving passively.
Assertiveness means, letting other know about your feelings, needs, rights, and opinion while maintaining respect for other people.
Express your feelings in a direct, honest and appropriate way,
As your mind and body affect each other when you feel anxious and mentally tense you also feel tense physically.
Self-prescribing exercise
You can also choose to prescribe exercise for yourself as a part of your own
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treatment plan. Each of 5 stages of STEPA, are interconnected with each other. That is why by increasing your physical activity level you can boost up how you feel mentally as well as physically.
Don’t forget to exercise when you are stress
People often forget to exercise when they feel stressed. Exercise has been shown helpful for stress and anxiety. You can also choose to prescribe exercise if you don’t have any medical conditions as a part of your own self treatment plan.
Exercise can be fun if you choose something that you have precisely liked doing.
Self-treatment gives control to plan things at your own place.
It can help you structure and plan your day rather than just staying in and doing little.
If you are physically unwell you may not be able to do certain exercise for a time. Ask your doctor or health professional team about what you can’t do if you are ill or have had a recent operation or any kind of heart problem.
Not to overdo it exercise is good in moderate amount. If you are physically unwell check with your doctor first choose something that is fun or sociable.
People are often amazed how empowering, energizing and relaxing regular exercise can be. It can boost your mood and help you to relax your mind and body.
(Walking and talking group)Plan to exercise with friends or relative
They will encourage you when it feels difficult it will help boost your sense of closeness which again will also help you mood to boost up.
Remember that walking with your friends and family members and talking to them about what you see as you walk as a good example of cheap and effective exercise.
Overcome anxious over breathing
When you suddenly heard a loud noise you become scared your heart beat a lot
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faster and you start breath a lot faster. What make this happen is fight and flight
adrenaline response which is quite normal phenomena. Blood is pumped faster round your body so that your muscle is ready to react. Then you can try to defend yourself from any potential danger or run away from the situation. This is very useful when danger is real. There may be other physical responses such as feeling of sweaty or restless or tense. Sometime rapid breathing continues long enough to turn into anxious over breathing. This is known as hyperventilation. But when you feel scared about the things which are not really that dangerous e.g. you may be scared of going for shopping or riding on a bus. Over breathing and tight chest can strengthen fear that I am suffocating likewise rapid heartbeat or chest pain in panic may support fear that I am having heart attack feeling of dizziness and blurred vision caused by over breathing can strengthen that that I am about to faint or collapse that I am having stroke.
Bad effects of these symptoms
In normal breathing you breathe in O2 and breathe out CO2. When you breathe more rapidly O2 inside your body then usually you breathe out greater amount of CO2. Then due to which the symptoms appear due to over breathing. Then you can slow down your body’s loss of CO2 and even reverse this situation by slowing your breathing. This helps you re-capture some of the CO2 so that you quickly begin to feel better again.
If you think that you have had an attack of over breathing for the first time it is important to discuss with your doctor. These symptoms appear in anxiety. Depression and panic attack. If you think that you have any kind of physical problem you should talk to your doctor.
Practice relaxed breathing
⦁ Breathe in through your nose while counting silently to three.
⦁ Breathe out slowly as high.
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⦁ Finally breathe out slowly through your mouth for a count of three. Try this for only one or two breath and release your breathing before trying again to avoid any dizziness.
It’s never too late to start living healthy and happy.
⦁ Keep yourself happy, active and busy in some healthy activities in order to protect yourself from negative emotions.
⦁ Don’t suffer in silence and shame just shares your feelings and emotions with your well-wishers to avoid any serious kind of consequences.
⦁ Select & share positive emotions from with your friends.
⦁ Select and delete negative emotions from your mind inbox ASAP.
⦁ There are 6 best friends of mine
⦁ Air
⦁ Water
⦁ Food
⦁ Rest
⦁ Exercise
⦁ Sunlight
The best lifestyle is to eat well, sleep well speak well, think well, act well and live well.
We are what we eat,
We are what we think, what we feel the way we feel and act.
Be positive and be happy.
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SELF-HELP-HAPPINESS

BODY & MIND WELL-BEING

By

Dr. Najeeb Ahmad
M.B, B.S, Masters in public health (MPH)
MIHM (London)
Chair
(Health & Happiness for All)
Board member
Cardio vascular Disease Board (CVD)
Waltham forest,
NHS whipps cross University,
Hospital

Acknowledgment
I owe a debt of gratitude to many people who have contributed to this public
mental health awareness short book in so many ways.
Their vision and creativity were crucial to the birth of this short book and have been constant source of joy to me.
Finally, I wanted to emphasize that I am not the sole creator of the many ideas and techniques in this book which were taken from various reference books.
I am also grateful to Prof Dr. Ahmad Ali Khan, Consultant Psychiatrist, Emeritus NHS Royal College of Psychiatrists, the Chair and supervisor of our research team of UK international Policy Research Institute on Mental Health, London who has great contribution to the birth of this book.

This short book of Self-help-happiness is about promotion and awareness of mental health and prevention of disease.
1 in 4 people are likely to experience a mental health problem in one year. These include conditions such as phobia, depression and anxiety, bipolar disorder and schizophrenia.

One in six in UK suffering from depression and anxiety, it cost £395 million on treatment per year.
WHO report shows that in 2020 depression will be the 2nd disability of the world
after cardio vascular disease.
SELF-HELP-HAPPINESS
BODY & MIND WELL-BEING
Let’s break the cycle of silence and poor health

We are what we think what we feel the way we feel and behave.
Don’t suffer in silence. A few small words can bring a big change in your life.
Following Free voluntary services are available for every one above the age of 18.
1 – Emotional help and support services (Emotional Support group)
2- Stress free club activities
3- Walking & talking group activities.

“Health & Happiness for All”

Web site; www.voluntaryaction.net/groups/health-and-happiness-all-hnh
E-mail; health.happiness@hotmail.co.uk

Facebook; Health and Happiness for All, Stress free club, Emotional support group,
Contact; Mob-07950767099

Global Health & Happiness Day

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